This was my third and last pregnancy. My first 2 girls were born in Washington, DC and although I had to actually give birth in a hospital, I did everything else at a birth center. This third pregnancy was a bit different, I couldn't find a birth center but I did find a wonderful doctor whose practice was very much in alignment with my preferences.

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Just like probably most other pregnant women at 40 weeks, I was beyond ready to get that baby out of my body. I was doing everything to jump start my labor. I was taking primrose oil, taking walks constantly, and “other things” that were supposed to help but, alas, only 2 cm dilated.

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"Put 2 oz in a milkshake, drink it at lunchtime and you will be in labor in a few hours.''

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The day came where I was just so done. I texted my midwife from back home in DC begging her to tell me what to do to get my labor going. She laughed at me and told me to drink some castor oil. I had heard this suggestion during my previous pregnancies but I had also heard horror stories.

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I expressed my concern to my midwife turned friend. She told me, “ those horrible things only happened when people didn't know what they were doing.” She told me, “ Put 2 oz in a milkshake, drink it at lunchtime and you will be in labor in a few hours. That baby is coming tonight. I followed her advice. I drank my milkshake around 12pm, 3pm came and went, and nothing.

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I went for a walk, had 1 or 2 small contractions, nothing major or consistent. Finally, I turned around and went back home.

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During the course of the entire day I had a few contractions here and there but they weren't anything worth paying attention to. This was my 3rd pregnancy, I knew what a real contraction felt like. On the phone with my godmother, she was asking if anything was happening with the baby. I said, “NO! This baby is not doing a single thing. I tried everything today and she's not moving.” Eventually, I hung up and began to prepare for bed. Then, out of nowhere, the REAL one. I had one huge contraction and told my husband, “Uhhh honey, that was a real contraction, this baby is coming. We need to get the girls across the street.”

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"The only reason you didn't have this baby in the car is because your water hasn't broken.''

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From the first real contraction they were coming every 2-3 minutes. Our friends walked across the street to get our girls and we were on our way to the hospital. Once we got there, we went to triage and they laid me down to see how far I was dilated. The nurse seemed confused, she said she didn't feel anything. She said, “Wow you're fully dilated, 10 cm. We gotta get you to a birthing room NOW. The only reason you didn't have this baby in the car is because your water hasn't broken.”

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They rolled me into a room and set everything up for the birth. They called the on call doctor in to check. He was very nonchalant as if he didnt believe the baby was coming quickly. I had another contraction and with no effort of my own I was pushing. I had no control, my body took over, I hadn't experienced this with my other 2 births.

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The doctor wasn't ready, and everyone in the room screamed, “ NOOOO, DON'T PUSH”, I shouted back, “I’M NOT TRYING TO!!!!!” and the next contraction came as I was involuntarily pushing again. The doctor turned around that instant and the baby came sliding out!

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There was no time for an epidural, any kinds of medications, nothing. She came like a whirlwind. This was by far my fastest birth and labor. It went very well.

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I have found that the labor and delivery nurses and midwives are the ones who make a birthing experience. As long as the people in those roles are kind and supportive, you will have a pleasant experience assuming there are no complications with the baby.

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"Don't be pressured into allowing anyone into that space if it's not your desire..''

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My advice for a young woman who has never given birth would be to know what you want, make your plans and resolve beforehand that things may change. During your pregnancy, learn about the birthing process, learn how contractions work. When they come, you will have focus and respect the fact that your body is doing a miraculous thing by going through this process.

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Only have who you want in the room with you. Don't be pressured into allowing anyone into that space if it's not your desire. Have someone with you who will advocate for your wishes and support what you want. Lastly, allow people in to help. Many will offer help, however, when the baby comes and everyone returns to their lives; the people who really want to help you will be there. Those are the ones you hand the baby to so you can go take a shower or eat a meal. Enjoy the little things along the way, it goes by fast!